A New Journey

Five years ago, I had to withdrawl from the graduate social work program at Radford University.  I was devastated and felt like a failure and a quitter.  However, deep inside I knew that it was the right thing to do.  At the time, I was struggling with an incurable illness called Porphyria Cutanea Tarda.  Horrible illness (not that there is a good one).  There was no cure, there was only an option of getting a regular bi-weekly phlebotomy.  My veins never wanted to cooperate and they were only able to do almost a half of one.  Instead of the pint of blood they were suppose to take, after an hour and a half they were only able to get a little under a half of a pint.  After this, I was so weak from the sickness and the phlebotomy that I could not even walk.  In fact, when I got home, my husband had to carry me inside and lay me on the couch.  I was broken and felt hopeless.  I knew that the stress and requirements of school were too demanding and I felt like the sickness had won a battle that I was not willing to quit fighting yet.  Therefore, I heart brokenly withdrew myself from a dream: the graduate social work program.  A lot has happened since then.  God had a different plan.  Isn't that usually the way it is?  We want something so bad, feel defeated, disappointed, hurt, hopeless and then time passes and God slowly begins to reveal His plan for you.  Since that time in my life, God has healed me of that incurable illness, my husband gave his life to Christ and was called into ministry, he is now an ordained minister, we have started Gervase Ministries, God gave us a son, and now He is leading me on a new journey.  I'm very excited about this new journey.  You see, even though I did very well in my undergrad and grad programs, I still struggled inside with a lot that I was being taught.  A lot that I was being taught and heard in class, went against the very being that I was.  My spirit was unsettled.  In my undergrad, it seemed that almost every class there was some dicussion about the validity of God.  I remember time after time, God was trashed and Christian beliefs were slandered.  I have always wanted to finish my masters degree, but knew that I did not want to do it in a secular setting.  Therefore, God has begin to open doors and set me on a new path for school.  I can gladly say that I am enrolled in a masters program and my degree is Clinical Christian Couneling.  My spirit is at peace about this.  I no longer feel that unsettling feeling when I hear people talk about answering your call, do what God has planned for you, use your skills that He has put in you, this is my new journey.  Remember, there is ALWAYS hope in Jesus, because ALL things are possible with HIM.   

One hand, two hands or none....PART 1

In church a couple Sundays ago, something was brought to my attention.  It was a moment of great worshipping taking place and God used it to illustrate something to me.  As I opened my eyes, I began to notice all the ways that people were worshipping.  Some just stood there and didn't have any hands raised, some raised one, some had both hands raised.  The ones that hand their hands raised even differentiated.  Some had them down low and some had them stretched as high as they could reach.  Hand raising is not foreign to me.  I grew up Pentecostal and a preacher's kid.  In this moment though, I was reminded of something.  Oftentimes in situations where surrender needs to take place, the universal gesture is to raise our hands.  When a police officer is taking control of a situation, they normally demand that weapons be dropped and the subject to raise their hands.  Surrender is usually not an easy thing to do.  As humans, we view surrender as giving up, losing control, lack of power, basically a negative connotation.  In fact, surrender is defined as to yield to the power or control of another, to give over to something, or to give up completely and agree to forgo especially in favor of another (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary).  Interesting, to give up completely...not part of the way, not three quarters of the way, not even 99 percent of the way but completely and agree to forgo especially in favor of another.  The difference with surrender and God is that it is your choice.  You are not being forced, you come by decision.  I can recall a few specific times in my life when I had to surrender very difficult things to God.  One time comes to mind, Phillip and I had been dealing with the issue of having a child.  Doctors had told me I had two incurable diseases.  However, God told me I was healed.  However, I still struggled.  I struggled with the "what ifs."  Considering I had dealt with anxiety issues for years, these "what ifs" and fears basically plagued my life to the point of normally giving in to them.    What if I get pregnant and the illness returns, what if I don't make it through the labor, what if this, what if that.  Once again, fear, panic, stress and anxiety was beginning to choke out the blessing that God had for me.  You know what though, Sunday was coming....One Sunday morning, I went to the alter with a family member to pray with them.  After praying for her, I remember just standing there and I just began to talk to God.  My heart was heavy and the load was becoming unbearable.  I began to plead to God that I needed an answer, why was HE being so quiet....I had one request after another after another.  Then in my spirit, I began to be reminded of the promises that God had given me.  His word says that by His stripes we were healed, so I stepped in to that healing, in Psalms we are told that when the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles and also then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.  God had already put in my spirit that Phillip and I would have a child.  I recently heard a preacher say, "there are no "ifs" in God's word."  You know what, when He says that He will do something and when we are obedient then He will be faithful.  So in that moment at the alter, I lifted both hands as high as I could and instead of asking for more stuff, I began to give thanksgiving and praise.  I told God that I was going to surrender the whole situation over to Him.  My heart was heavy, my mind was tired and spiritually I was drained.  I had nothing good left to give.  All I had to give was my anxiety, my sickness, my worry, and my hurt, but you know what, God took it.  As I stood there, with hands lifted and crying as never before, I was in a place of surrender. I was saying, Jesus I agree to forego in your favor, whatever your will is, I accept it.  In that instant, a peace as I had never experienced before rushed through my body and remained throughout the pregnancy, labor, and delivery.  In Isaiah 55:8-9, it says, " “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  I don't know about you, but I would prefer someone that has thoughts and ways higher than my own to be in control of my life.  He holds my future, walks with and guides me in the present, and has blood covered my past.  When starting to write this blog, something came to mind.  When we come to Jesus, repent and ask Him to be our savior, we are supposed to surrender our lives to Him then.  So then why is it, when we come to trails in life, we tend to hold on to them white knuckle and all and attempt to battle them in our own will.  We might give a portion to Him, but sometimes not all of it.  Is it being afraid of losing control, afraid of what He will do?  Are we saying, Jesus I believe you are the Son of God and my Savior, but this one time I don't trust you on it.  Do you know the word believe when translated Greek to English in the Bible also meant to trust in?  So, that means I believe who you say you are and I trust you with my WHOLE life...even the trails, even my children, even my finances, even my illness, even my hurt from the past, my wounds from life, my family, my marriage, my job....all of it.  God doesn't want to destroy you.  In fact, you know how in the situation with the police they would demand that you drop your weapons?  Well when we surrender to God, He commands the enemy that their weapons will not prosper against us.  Isaiah 54:17 (KJV) says, "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD." He wants you to surrender to Him, though.  The next time you are faced with something, don't hold on for "dear life," take a deep breath, raise your hands and surrender it to Him.    "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeramiah 29:11).

Just have patience...

How many times have you been going through something and someone will say, "just have patience?"  I can think back through my life and recall a number of times that I have had people tell me this.  When my husband and I were trying to conceive, needing to be healed, needing a breaththrough in ministry, waiting for a loved one to be saved...all were times that I was continuously reminded to just be patient.  Recently, I heard a small still voice whisper this to me while ministering with someone.  In all honestly, I wanted things to be in my timing while neglecting what I already knew, things work best when in HIS timing.  Last night I began to feel the erruption of restlessness again with a ministry situation.  This time, I didn't hear, "just be patient," I heard, "what does patience mean."  So I took a visit to dictionary.com and this is what I found, "the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like and an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay."  WHAT?  I could not even believe what I was reading, I was instantly convicted.  This definition basically ensures that if you are having to need patience then you are probably in some painful or uncomfortable situation.  Furthermore, it says that we are to endure this time without loss of temper, irriation, complaint and to have the ability to suppress the annoyance of the situation.  If you ask me, I only know one way to be able to overcome such an obstacle and that is the strength found in Jesus.  In Galatians 5:22, we are told that patience is one of the many fruits of the Spirit.  Is patience passive?  No, we have to have endurance, persistance, and faith.  In fact, times that call for patience test our faith.  Therefore, patience and faith need to walk hand and hand while enduring the trail that you face.  Psalms 37:7 says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"  We have to reside in God's perfect will and timing.  You are being molded into someone for a greater purpose.  I was once given a promise that I would have a child.  Considering at the time I was sick and doctors advised against conceiving our own child, I figured the only way we would have a child is to adopt.  Oh, but God had a different plan.  That thought was one of flesh.  It was one of defeat and lacked in faith.  It was a deceiving notion attempting to derail me from God's perfect plan.  One night during a worship service, God revealed to me His perfect plan.  However, did the plan unfold the next day...no, the next month....no, 6 months...no, it took a one full year.  Throughout that year, God tested me time and time again.  My faith was tested, but He did not leave me out in the cold.  When my faith would start to weaken, someone would come and tell me to just be patient.  You see, in essence God was sending a messenger to say, "I know the trail you are going through, but hold on, I know the hurt in your heart, but keep holding on, I see the tears that you cry, I have them numbered, but I am a God of faithfulness, I have given you a promise and I need you to be patient, I need you to be faithful to me, I have GREAT things in store for you, but you just have hang on just a little longer, because I am in the works of perfecting you into what I need you to be, so that you can do great things in MY NAME."  The next time someone tells you to, "just be patient," look at the trails you face, dive deep into your faith, cling to the Word of God, rebuke all attempts of the devil to derail you, and stand patiently on the blessed assurance of Jesus." 


For more information, please visit, Gervase Ministries, Inc.


                              Copyright 2011. Christie Gervase

Feeling defeated?

Have you ever felt that all that you do is just pointless, worthless, and that things or sometimes people will just keep being the same old way.  The last couple of months God has been dealing with me about the spirit of defeat.  I believe that it is one of the greatest tools used against us.  I wondered why God had been slowing teaching me things about defeat and how it can destroy a person.  It's because I would be feeling it soon and I believe its a much needed message that many need to hear.  In ministry, you give it your all.  You sometimes see things in people or what they are doing and how detrimental it is to their walk with God.  You can minister to them until you turn blue, but until the Holy Spirit comes in and transforms their heart and they begin to see sin for what it really is then you just have to be patient.  You see, defeat attacks both sides.  It attacks those needing ministering to and those doing the ministering.  Defeat takes advantage of our weakness.  It attacks when we are weak and usually when we don't have reinforcement around.  Normally, it will begin to creep itself in right when we start to question ourselves or more importantly, question God.  When you get to the point to consider or even ask, "what's the point," then know that defeat is waiting around the corner.  You, your actions and thoughts determine what happens next.  Say you go with it.  What's the point?  I might as well keep living in the flesh, because God hasn't done anything to change it yet.  I might as well keep on the same old  track living in my old ways, because living in righteousness isn't get me anywhere.  Well, that's where the problem is.  In today's time, people are coming to Christ for Him to rescue them from there issues rather than Him saving them from eternal damnation.  Don't get me wrong, Jesus can rescue you from whatever bondage or situation you face, but that should not be the reason you give your life to Christ.  Jesus Christ died for your sins.  He did it so you would have eternal life with Him.  When you continue to sin, you make His death vain.  You essentially are breaking the law of God over and over and ignoring the fact there is a consequence.  The spirit of defeat blinds us from the truth.  It sets us up for failure and traps us in a cycle of sin.  What a better way to derail you from what God has in store for your life then to get you off track with God.  When we give in to defeat, we let go of our faith.  When we give in to defeat we open the door for Satan to steal your blessing and your joy.  Now, let's say you don't give in.  Let's say when you feel or hear those thoughts of, "what's the point," or the smallest glimmer of defeat you fight back and don't fuel it.  You know without fuel then things eventually die.  You say, "God, I don't understand, I thought by now you would have changed things, but I will continue to trust and believe in you....I believe that you have planned great things for my life, you are my Strongtower, you are my very help in time of need, And I know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  "I will praise you in the small things, I will praise you when it don't go my way, I praise you because you are God alone and your ways are higher than mine."  "I don't worship you because you are a safety net, I worship you because you are God."  We also need to tell Satan something, we need to tell him and rebuke him from constantly reminding us that we are defeated and remind him that he's already been defeated.  He is a liar, he is a deceiver, and at all cost he will attempt to bring you down with him.  Don't give in, don't give up.  Don't let defeat derail you.  Make your foundation on a rock, Jesus and stand firm.  If weakness comes, ask God to send the Holy Spirit to strengthen you.  For all things are possible with God.  I am believing that God has a breakthrough for you, you just got to keep holding on, praying hard, seeking Him, believing in faith that your promise given by God is on it's way and that defeat or Satan himself can't take it from you. 

Do you have housekeeping?

Wow, it has been a while since I have posted my thoughts on here.  I guess you could say that I've been caught up in the daily housekeeping issues of life.  Having a 2 year old son only makes that housekeeping list grow and grow and grow.  You know what though, I am so very thankful that I can say that.  It is a blessing; even though, when caught up in the midst of it, I might only see the chaos of it all.  Today has been one of those tough days.  As a mom, there are NO sick days.  I have struggled with a migraine all day and it has been difficult to be a mom and continue on with my daily duties.  I dislike being sick, because I passionately dislike getting off schedule and getting behind with household duties.  I'm sure most ladies (and gentlemen alike) can attest to the fact at how hard it is once you start getting behind on housekeeping it just seems to grow into a mountain over night.  I mean seriously, how is it possible after 1 sick day to have an overflowing basket of dirty laundry, a Mt. Everest of toys throughout the house, and dirty dishes galore when there is only 3 people in the house.  I have still not figured this out; however, what I have figured out is if at all possible try not to have a sick day, because I so passionately dislike all the dreaded work the day after a sick day.  Therefore, today I gradually made sure dirty dishes made their way into the dishwasher, toys stayed in the playroom, and I even managed a load of laundry.  As I was putting the laundry in the washing machine, this is where I had my revelation.  In life, we have housekeeping that needs to be done in all areas.  We have our daily household housekeeping, work has housekeeping issues, and even our daily walk with God has housekeeping issues.  As I began to think at how one day of neglecting my daily housekeeping duties at home can turn into a home of clutter and disarray, I realized this truth holds the same for our spiritual life as well.  Neglecting prayer, not reading His word, skipping devotions, forfeiting fellowship with other believers, refusing to share our faith, abandoning time in worship, and not hearing His word...all these things are spiritual housekeeping issues.  If you neglect any one of them, then it seems that our spiritual life begins to suffer from it.  Our life suddenly begins to get cluttered with other things, our thoughts begin to shift gears and our actions reflect it as well.  Just as my peaceful, clean house becomes chaotic and dirty overnight our relationship with Jesus can become this way too, if continuously neglected overtime.  This past April, I had food poisioning that lasted for 19 days.  I was so weak from lack of nurishment and having a fever for so long that there was no way possible I could attempt to do housework.  After I slowly recovered from such a horrific illness, it took a good long while to get the house back to the way I liked it.  Each day I would set goals of what to get done.  It was frusterating, because I wanted it to be perfect in that instant, all at once...but it took time, weeks.  However, there was also days that I seemed to get off track, because things had got so out of hand, the task I had set before me just seemed to big and overwhelming.  A neglected spiritual life can get that way too.  Things are so out of whack that you might think, what's the point?  When we don't deal with things when they are small and we let them get way out of control, it's going to take time, sometimes a lot of time to get them back in order.  As with most things dealing with God, be patient and pray hard.  As with any relationship or housekeeping issue for that matter, when you neglect it, it will suffer.  You will begin to lose what you had.  You may feel that you just don't feel God's direction anymore in your life or maybe God is just being silent.  Search yourself and your life, is there housekeeping issues that need to be taken care of.   Have you neglected a part of your relationship with Jesus?  If so, it's not to late to get back to that relationship you once knew.  In the meantime, get back to that housekeeping.  Work hard, pray hard, fast, read His word, hear His word, spend time in worship, fellowship.....because in then end, Jesus can even find you in your mess. 

If you would like more information about a relationship with Jesus, please visit Gervase Ministries. Also, find us on Facebook.

Are you fine tuned?

Yesterday we had our piano tuned. The piano came with the house that we bought this past December. We figured it must have just been an old piano and the sellers would get a newer model, when in fact; it is relatively new. It's a 2002 model and was specially made for churches, schools and piano teachers. Apparently, it's a very special model. As I sat there and watched the technician work on the piano, I began to have a revelation unfold. Our lives are kind of like a piano. The insides delicate to the atmosphere around us. The slightest change in humidity, continuous playing, relocating, or even just time changes how the notes sound. Our surroundings effect us. So the technician opened the piano up and began to study the insides while playing a key here and there. He started in the middle and worked his way left and then right. He used only one tool to help get the piano back in tune. It was amazing to watch, because he knew exactly what each note was supposed to sound like. Even I could almost know when the key was almost tuned, it just sounded right. So I began to think how this piano was like people's lives. Many of us have "keys" out of tune. Many times these are the areas that we struggle with and oftentimes these are the areas most unpleasing to God. When the technician came in to tune the piano and get it where it should be, he didn't fix all of the untuned keys at once. No, he worked on them one by one. However, he still recognized that there was more to fix and didn't just ignore them. He wanted it to be pleasing to our ears and work as it was created to work. With his tool, he took on each untuned key one by one. Sometimes as a new Christian (or even a seasoned one), we get frustrated because we feel like we have failed God or God has failed us when in fact He is in the process at fine tuning you. With His special tool, just like the technician, God uses the Holy Spirit to transform those areas in our lives. Just like each key on the piano, some took a little longer to get in tune, but it was a work in progress. Not once did the technician say, "this key just won't tune, I give up." We might give up, but God won't, let Him fine tune you, let Him get you to be where He knows you should be, what you were created to be. However, we have to be willing for that "key" to be changed. I was amazed to witness how much care, passion, and gentleness the technician showed toward his work on the piano. Jesus is the same way with us. The Bible tells us in John 3:16, " For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." I think that sums up the passion and love that Jesus has for us, He died for each and everyone of us. Now it's time to be fine tuned. Do you want to be pleasing to the one who has given His life so that you can have life? I know I do, even though it's not easy, I want to be and do what God created me for. I want to be pleasing to Him. If God has started that process on you, let Him finish fine tuning you, if He hasn't started yet, then ask Him to begin. Sometimes we don't recognize how special things our, just as I didn't recognize the specialness of our piano. Each of you are special, each of your lives are special. No matter how much you think you have messed up or how out of tune you are, once forgiven, you can be fine tuned. Talk to Him, He is waiting to listen and to begin the tuning process. You too, are a very special model.

For more information, please visit Gervase Ministries. 

Man that hurt...BAD!

Hurt comes to people in many ways. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual... Recently, I've experienced hurt. The other day, I was getting my son ready and being the wiggle worm that he is, I ended up hurting myself. Trying to button his pants, my hand slipped and my thumb nail went into my other thumb and made a deep cut. It took a chunk of skin.....man that hurt!!!! So, we were in a rush and I had to immediately get in the shower. Well, I forgot about this wound that was still open; however, that didn't last long. Once the shower began to flow and it hit my hand...the aching, shooting pain seemed endless. The whole time I could only think that if I just had a band aid it wouldn't hurt as bad, if at all. It would be protected. Instantly, a thought came to me. Often times in life, we carry around open wounds. As long as they aren't touched or bothered by something, then they are okay (or so they seem). A lot of times we do this with our walk with Jesus. We are doing something we know we aren't supposed to, we don't deal with things, we have hurt people, people have hurt us, we sin, we ignore it, whatever it is....it's an open wound that we choose to ignore. However, at some point that wound is going to get rained on or showered on. Just like when I got in the shower and the water hit that cut, it began to hurt. All that water was doing though was cleaning it, washing away the dirt, germs, blood... Now and then, God will rain down or shower down on us. Whether it be in a Sunday message, a friend telling us something (because they are a friend), conviction from reading the Truth; well, regardless of how it comes, it hurts. Just like I wanted to put a band aid on my open aching wound, we tend to do that in other situations. Let's just cover it up, ignore it, deal with it only when we have to. Hurts don't resolve themselves, because they eventually show back up sooner or later. In fact, sometimes our hurt is hurting someone else. Take care of the hurt. Eventually, the pain will leave. Forgive. Work through it. See it as a blessing, God has decided to shower on you so you can remember to deal with it. Give it to Him. Change whatever created or caused the hurt. Develop a new attitude. Fast. Pray. Sometimes that's all we can do, is pray. I have other hurts in my life right now and all I can do is pray. To be honest, it's frusterating....I want to fix it, NOW. That's another lesson, patience....I will be patient while I pray. In the end though, don't band aid it, let God rain down and wash it clean and let the healing begin.

Heaven is Real

A couple weeks ago my husband bought us a Nook-Color and I was super excited. So, now I have this Nook, I have to buy books that go on it. Our first book was the Bible; however, I still wanted a "book." So I came across this book entitled, "Heaven is Real." I read briefly about it and immediately knew I wanted to engulf myself in its entirety. So within three second, I bought the book and was already begininng my journey with the Burpo family and their testimony. Immediately I was pulled in, hooked, couldn't wait to get to the part about heaven. Every turn of a new page was intriguing. Hearing about this child's encounter with heaven, God, Jesus, and even family members that had passed away and he had never met until now in Heaven...Amazing. I don't want to give too much away, in case, someone would love to read it. Regardlesss of the controversy that surrounds books of this nature...are they real, this is fake, part is real, pick and choose like we do with God...what ever the controversy, it makes you think. How could it not? I mean, we are talking about eternity. For a good portion of people, here on earth, they complain, moan, hurt, ache, have moments of happiness, and some even feel it is so unbearable that they end it themselves. Therefore, if you are going to a place for eternity, where there is no end to it, then don't you think this is the time to think about it and get it right before you can't change it? I can only imagine what it would be like when someone gets to heaven...I mean can you imagine all those family members that have passed before us. Would we even care to tell them all the things we longed to tell them or would we be over taken by the overwhelming presense of Jesus? **Book Spoiler** In the book, Colton meets a sister in heaven that he never knew about, because his mother had a miscarriage years before having him. He was never told of this, but after he was well he told his mom that he had another sister. He discusses his meeting with her. This brought so much healing into a wound that just never seemed to heal for Colton's mom and dad. Even the sharing of what is just a small piece of the whole story has brought healing into many people's grief of losing a baby. I can't even imagine what it would be for a parent to know and be brought into their realization that even the children that they lost preterm or term, children they never met, one day they will have a reunion with in Heaven. What a gracious God we have. **end spoiler** I finished the book in two days. I could not and did not want to put it down. Each fact that Colton presented to his parents about heaven and then thinking of the Biblical reference...I mean how could a three year old come up with the exact description from the Bible (in child like terms)...especially from the Book of Revelation. It made me, someone well aware of what the Bible says, a minister's wife, a preacher's kid, a Christian, to think. I pray this makes you think...do you know if you will make it to heaven for a reunion?

For more information on making it to heaven, please visit, http://gervaseministries.org/Gift.aspx

For more information about the book, please visit, http://heavenisforreal.net/

Birth of another wonderland...

Wonderland, what does that really mean? Dictionary.com defines it as a land of wonders or marvels, a wonderful country or region, an imaginary land, or an actual place or scene of great or strange beauty or wonder. Sometimes our minds are like that. Wonderlands. Thoughts, questions, scenarios, problems, issues, drama, grief, happiness, joy, and the list goes on. For some, it's a world of their own. For me, this is where I plan on sharing my thoughts, questions, life's events, daily happenings...for me, it's just another wonderland. Hope you enjoy.